Commitment

What is commitment?

Commitment in a relationship to me is being dedicated to the relationship to each other. To accept each other as they are and to embrace each others good and bad points. To be with each other no matter what mood you’re in. To be able to pick each other up from a bad mood and to be there for each other when you feel down or even sick.

What has brought this on? Well I am starting to get the feeling that Lady R is afraid to commit further into our relationship. I hope to God I am wrong but it’s the feeling I am getting. I got no idea what she is afraid of and I wish she would talk to me about it. Lady R knows I’ll always respect her and honor her and be there for her no matter what. That’s what a relationship is to me. It’s taking the good times with the bad. Taking the past and forgetting about it, accepting it as the past and moving forward together. Helping each other over hurdles that life has put in front of us and will be putting in front of us.

On a less philosophical note, I cornered my son in Saturday morning and put some advantix on him. He seemed ok with it till about an hour later. Then he started itching and feeling the fleas dying. Boy did he run around and roll on the grass and just go nuts. He was really upset at me when I went to see him on Sunday, the look I got was an “I am not to impressed with you for making me itch” look and it took some sucking up to get him to love me again. But I have to look after my boy.

My laptop decided to pack up on Saturday night and I had to take it into the supplier this morning. It some how just stopped working. Well I think the hard drive packed up but its not even a month old so they better give me a new laptop or a new hard drive and reload everything for me. I had some time this weekend to start php development again. And get the rust off my development skills. The site for my company is coming on slowly and there is some interesting stuff Corrie is bringing to the party with banking portals and other back end features we can make use of.

I managed to dodge the girl at the office who was into me and push Court-Jester in front of her. Now she is into him and not me. She is a 21 year old girl who just wants to party and I told her in such a nice way that I am involved with an amazing woman and that nothing or no one will change my mind because I love Lady R with all my heart and soul.

So for now I am baby sitting some databases and have time on my hands to get into SQL again while sitting here not doing to much.

Lazy Public Holiday

Well today went past in a very lazy way. I woke up early on a public holiday, yes I know it's a sin but I had to go work and fix some poor MD's wireless issues at his house.

 

I was hoping to see R today after she finished work but R had to go attend to some stuff. I was over eager and made some pasta in a wine sauce in the hopes R is coming around.

 

The rest of the day I spent watching a new Series called Ghost Whisperer, It's about a woman who can see earthly spirits of people who have passed away but have not crossed over yet.

It's a very scary and interesting TV series.

 

Today gave me time to do the washing and sort out some house work at home. I have so much old junk that I need to get rid of.

 

I'm still trying to find a buyer for my old home pc. I have a super duper laptop now and the home pc is off and just gathering dust in the corner. I have put it on vottle.com and in the local advert papers.

 

I was thinking that it might be time to tell R more about my past, things I don't talk about and have been keeping to myself for a long time. And I mean a long time. I have realised the other day that I have fallen for R more then I have ever thought was possible. It's been over 5 months that R and I have been seeing each other and our relationship has grown considerably. Yes like all relationships we have our ups and downs and we work on all the downs and share the ups with each other.

 

Well, 2 more working days to the weekend and the hope to see R over the weekend and spend some quality time with R. Our work has been very busy and it's been keeping us to busy for a good quality weekend or day together,

 

 

Why Cant We Understand Woman

This week went by with out too much excitement. I had some cleanup work to do on client’s networks and some auditing to do.
I hardly seen Lady R this week and not seen or heard much from her this weekend. It is worrying me because this is not like Lady R. I normally see her on weekends but this weekend. This weekend I felt very down and I was so hoping to see Lady R.
I wonder what has changed on her side. I still have deep feelings for Lady R and I constantly think about Lady R. My day is miserable without a quick chat with Lady R.

I waited to hear from Lady R on Friday night and after nothing was heard I went to a barbeque at a friend’s place. It was nice to see every one again and it gave me time to look and reflect on my past and my future. I tend to do that with an open fire and the right amount of red wine.
Looking at my past, present and future, I have had a rough past, I learnt from it and I will carry what I learnt with me for the rest of my life. My present, well I will like to think that my present is with Lady R but this weekend has got me worried. Worried that Lady R’s feeling towards me is fading while mine is increasing stronger. I feel there is nothing I can do about it as I feel a relationship is a 2 way street. My Future, well, that is in the balance now. I can see a future with lady R, I can see weekends away, barbecue’s at friends places, shopping together and doing things that friends and lovers do together. I just hope I can have this future with Lady R, if not; well I got a couple of options.

My new laptop is not half bad at all. I am getting so much more work done now that I have a laptop. I can actually squeeze another 2 hours work in extra in an 8 hour day. The quality is very good and I am getting used to Vista now. Ok Vista has some issues but I just have to tuff it out. There is some issues with Office 2007 as well and I am investigating as to how to resolve these issues for me and my clients.

New Toy And The Week Gone By

I got my new Laptop on Thursday and its allot better then I thought. The screen is crisp and clear, it loads fast and it does everything I wanted and some more. It even has a built in web cam. Now all I need is more memory for the laptop as it comes with windows vista Business edition and it uses allot of memory.

I have not seen much of Lady R this week but that's because Lady R has other responsibilities to take care of at the moment.

Lady R is moving to her own place soon and I am so proud of her, Its a big step and its not a easy one to walk away from, but I am here for her and my friends are to and so are her friends.

I sorted out some things around my mums house and cleaned up some stuff. Codi, My 2 year old Husky, was curious as always and had to try to help. OK moving branches is not his strong point but he tried. I took my mum to the shops quickly and then had to take the truck back to the office.

My Mobile company is slowly getting momentum and I managed to get in contact with a old friend who used to sell computers for a importer. He is now supporting allot of conveyance and lawyers in my area, perfect for the market I am heading into. In return We will supply support and some services to his company.

When I'm with you,
eternity is a step away,
my love continues to grow,
with each passing day.

This treasure of love,
I cherish within my soul,
how much I love you...
you'll never really know

You bring a joy to my heart,
I've never felt before,
with each touch of your hand,
I love you more and more

Whenever we say goodbye,
whenever we part,
know I hold you dearly,
deep inside my heart.

So these seven words,
I pray you hold true,
"Forever And Always,
I Will Love You."

Week Gone By

Well this weekend went by quietly with Lady R spending some time with me and meeting my mum and my 2 year old boy. For those who don't know, I am the proud owner of a 2 year old husky, He is my boy and he loves me to bits. I think of him as a furry 4 legged child that cant speak our language.

My Boy, Codi, had to inspect Lady R a bit and once we got on the beach he was OK enough with Lady R to let her take him for a run. As for my mum, well my mum is crazy about Lady R and enjoys her company quite a bit.

Sunday morning was the best in a long long time, With Lady R coming over and me making muffins and coffee. We just parked off and talked about anything and everything and I realised something. I realised that this woman is simply amazing. She enjoys the simple things in life, I don't have to go pull out the big fireworks.

Sunday afternoon was spent fixing my moms bathroom up and looking at plans to redesign it. I fixed the bathroom taps, the best I could and today had them replaced with new taps. I also started drawing up some plans to get a shower into my moms bathroom and to get the windows fixed.

I'm looking for some one to custom build me some aluminium window frames so I can replace the wooden window frames at my mums house and then start painting. Well all in good time. Its the least I can do with all the things my mum has done for me in my life.

I wont be seeing much of Lady R this week or coming week as she has other responsibilities to attend to , but I already miss her a hell of allot. Its amazing how time away from some one gives you that opportunity to think and to see how lucky you are to have a woman like this in your life.

Tomorrow I get my new laptop, I can not wait for it. Been waiting for so long and its one of the really nice ones. More on my new Toy later.